jilolarge.blogg.se - Transforming cube origami

Do you like girls? Because I am one of those.

Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you’re making me hard.

Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore – my face should be among them.

Are you a trampoline? Because I want to bounce on you.

Comp het? Girl, I don’t feel any kind of het when I look at you.

Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a bone for you to examine.

Do you want to come to my time machine? We stop somewhere between ’68 and ’70.Are your ankles having a party? Because I think your pants should come on down.Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I see myself in them.We can go out for dinner, as long as I can have you for dessert.Stop undressing me with your eyes! Use your teeth!.I’m always on top of important things.If it’s true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.I may not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you.I grew out my undercut, but I could still get under you.I wish you were soap so I could feel you all over me.I’m not a weatherman, but you can expect a few more inches tonight.Your body is 70 percent water, and I’m thirsty.A woman participating in a survey was asked how she felt about condoms.I’m trying to finish writing a script for a porno movie, but there are just too many holes in the plot.An Australian kiss – the same as a French kiss, but down under.I just found an origami porn channel, but it’s paper view only.Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? Pretty nuts!.Why don’t witches wear underwear? Because they need a better grip.When should condoms be used? Every conceivable occasion.

What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD? A trip without kids.

What is Moby Dick’s dad’s name? Papa Boner.

They say make up sex is the best… Which is lucky, because all my sex is made up.

What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave? Thanks for coming!.

Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll? Ken came in another box.

What do a Rubik’s Cube and a penis have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

What did Cinderella do when she got the ball? She gagged.

What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They are both meat substitutes.

What’s a lesbian’s favorite Pokemon? Squirtle.

What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me, I’m going in.

What goes in hard and dry but comes out soft and wet? Gum.

What kind of food does a lesbian love? Anything they can eat out.

What did the clitoris say to the vulva? It’s all good in the hood!.

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold on to your nuts this ain’t no ordinary blow job.

What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? I want you inside me.We don’t recommend using the latter at Thanksgiving. Whether you’re looking for something a little spicy (and silly) to text your partner or you really want to liven up Thanksgiving here are some funny dirty jokes, one-liners, and pick-up lines to get you started.

Because, while we swear we do adult things, our sense of humor is still stuck in our pre-teen years. If you’re who also smirks every time you see a 69 out there in the world, you’re going to enjoy these adult jokes as much as we do.